I realized a few years ago that a big fear of mine was dying with my “music” still within me, with all the feelings and thoughts and creativity bubbling up from my deepest self still unexpressed.
I no longer have that fear.
During a two- or three-year period many of those I loved - family, extended family, friends - died. My own mortality was staring me in the face, and urging me to take action now, for there was no way to know when my time would be up.
Since then I have been taking action (albeit slowly) on what I was hearing and feeling within - that I must write, and photograph, and create an online presence. What that would look like, I didn't know. But the feeling was strong, passionate, and I followed it, in my own way.
At times it seemed unlikely I would get anywhere, as I was working way too hard making a living, and had nothing left at the end of the day for creativity. And those who knew me took my intent and words with a grain of salt.
And, truthfully, I was afraid. What if I was no good? What if no one cared? But inside I also knew that didn't matter. I needed to do this (without really knowing what “this” was), regardless of what others thought.
So I took one slow step at a time. And I listened.
I no longer have that fear of dying with my music still within me. Wow!
I have a greater sense of peace because I am beginning to express what is within me, on this blog, in this new venue. Even those I have known my whole life are seeing aspects of me I have never before had a way to express.
I do it because I have to, because it is calling to me.
We all have our own unique gifts to share with the world, that, once expressed, will provide some sense of peace within. Are you expressing yours? If not, I urge you to begin - now.
Photo: Moonrise near Casa Rinconada
Related post: The Music Is All Around Us